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This week on The Rack, we have possibly the biggest jerk in modern media: Larry Ellison. For those of you who aren't familiar (consider yourself lucky), Ellison is the current CEO of Oracle. Now, you won't hear me condemn his arrogance, for I am nothing if not vain. The problem here is that his self-praise is completely unmerited. His superiority complex comes from his money... hey, George W. Bush has money, and yet Socrates himself lived and died a poor man. Money doesn't even come into it, that is, some pricks get rich and some heroes can barely afford to eat. Also, I hear Larry's always got a pretty girl on his arm. They must be after those rugged good looks, huh? Please. I almost don't need to rack him to make him look deformed. Hmmm... put me at the head of a multi-billion dollar company, and see if I don't manage to find a few pretty girls too. Chump. "Like roller coasters? Invest in Oracle." It's time for Lil' Larry to grow up... click and drag across his face to shape Daddy's Little Girl into a mature young woman. |
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There is even a book out about him. It's called "The Difference Between God and Larry Ellison". Yeah, I could write volumes on that one too. By the way, here's a link to his infamous (and fake) Yale Commencement Address. His rivalry with Microsoft head Bill Gates has been highly publicized and in extremely poor taste. This bastard admitted to essentially hiring people to search through Microsoft's garbage to find evidence to have them brought down. The ensuing media circus surrounding the issue was dubbed "Larrygate". Even so, Larry is not without his fans. But don't listen to the morons at AskMen.com. If you ask me, I think that their writer has a crush on him. "Larry's such a visionary..." What a joke. P.S. AskMen loves Apple Computers, too. Morons. I don't know which "men" they asked, but I bet they were stuffing socks. Look for one of the writers at AskMen to be on The Rack next week. Stretch Applet "AlexWarp" created by Alex Rosen. |
