101 Things You Don't Want To Pass Through Your Urethra - I wish I'd thought of this one: a whole list of various items that, well, you get the picture.

Art Caskets - When you go, don't you want to go in style? I do, but maybe not in an air-brushed coffin. Jeez... anything to make a buck, huh? I especially like the tasteful "Return To Sender" model.

Ate My Balls - This is the host site for the "Ate My Balls" webring. You'll find your favorite celebrities from Mr. T to the Backstreet Boys to the Blair Witch. Visit any of the sites in this webring for a guaranteed laugh... links are at the bottom.

Atom Films - I guess this is a depot and launch site for all kinds of independent short films and animation productions. There are some weird movies here and some absurdly funny ones. Check out the "Bikini Bandits" series.

The Bad As Shit Project - A web-based tribute to all kinds of funk-heroes like Shaft, James Brown, Bruce Lee, and Super Fly. It's all done with Shockwave so turn up the sound on your computer. Can you dig?

Bang-On - This place provides some really neat 80's-style t-shirts and such. They have some really authentic looking designs if you're looking for something ultra hip.

The Best Page In The Universe - Being the home of another geeky guy doing more or less what I'm doing in terms of a site. VERY funny, and worth a look. Assuming you enjoy reading people making fun of other people.

The Breaks - This place keeps a "Rap Database" where you can learn just exactly which thieving-rap bastards have been sampling which oldie favorites. Wondering where that cool little baseline in "Ice Ice Baby" came from? It's here, but if you have to look that one up, go away.

Chickenhead - The first time I saw this site, I was jealous and upset. It was so clearly funnier than mine with better graphic design. I felt a little better when I found that it is run by a team of people rather than just one. It keeps a list of clever penis pet-names (notably "wrinklebeast" and "the third arm of justice") as well as an archive of side-splitting windows desktop pictures, AIM icons, etc. But one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life, no lie, is their collection of banners. You WILL pee your pants.

Darwin Awards - This is a site full of stories about stupid people dying of their stupidty. A real classic. You know, peeing on an electric fence or punching a bear in the face type stuff.

Dialectizer - Pick a style, enter a URL, and click "Dialectize!" The URL will come up with altered text in styles like Elmer Fudd, Jive, and Swedish Chef. It's a riot!

Despair, Inc. - This is the online store for a company that specializes in pessimistic office-culture mugs, posters, etc. Their specialty is a line of posters called "Demotivators" with themes suchs as "Mediocrity" and "Futility". It's more than worth a look.

Fugly.com - As pathetic as it is, I spent a whole morning reading through this site the day I ran across it. You have to check out the "victims" section. Think Jerky Boys on the net, only way, WAY funnier. Nothing is sacred here. (It's worth noting that this site appears to be sponsored by porn sites... beware if you're viewing this while at work.)

Furniture Porn - What kind of explanation do you want for this? It's pieces of furniture getting it on. You know you're curious.

Gangsta Name Generator - Just type in your name, and it spits out a new hardcore title for you. Speaking of hardcore, checkout the Porn Star, Pet Name, and Cab Driver versions.

Global Rich List - Go here to find out just how ungrateful you are in the grand scheme of things. Learn how many million of people on earth are richer than you... and how many billions are not, you pig.

Google Maps - This unbelievable site will show you maps, directions, and zoomable and moveable satellite photos of any address... with street names optionally super-imposed! Who knows what new features will be added between the time I wrote this and the time you read it. I didn't believe it until I saw it for myself, and I don't know how I feel about it. Big Brother is watching. (For a more global experience, try Google Earth.)

Googlism - This bizarre site will return a list of a bunch of things that have been said about someone or something on the web. Try putting in your first name and searching. Just some randomosity for your time-wasting pleasure.

Goth Hunting - A site about capturing and otherwise harrassing my favorite subculture: gothic people! It covers everything from how to lure them to what you can use them for. Oh yeah, Buddy. I'm sure you really are a child of darkness. Whatever...

Anti-Goth Movement - Yet another site trashing the gothic sub-culture. This guy has some awesome top ten lists on the subject. But he's pretty hardcore; militant about the anti-goth movement, if that's even possible.

I Hate Music - OK, so this girl actually writes completely negative reviews of everything from Dylan, to Zeppelin, to Morrissey, to NIN. And while she's dead on on some of them... come on! Trashing the Beatles? Worth a look just in case you don't believe me.

Kittie - Many of you won't appreciate this page the way I do. As much as I hate gothic men (morons!), I LOVE gothic girls. Kittie is a good example of why I refuse to date anyone who makes it through a metal detector on her first try, if you get my drift. Who needs hot wax when you've got magnets?

Mathematical Genius - It's nice to know that the cream of the crop are running our country. Read this, and continue on to PriceLine.com to buy your one-way ticket to Canada. You'll need a little math backgroud to understand this one, but not much.

Mullets Galore - An entire site dedicated to everyone's favorite white trash hair cut; the cool one with the short hair on the top and the long hair hanging off the back. You know you had one! (Thanks to Stephanie for this.)

Muppet Character Guide - Relive your youth and see some pictures and descriptions of all of the Muppet Show's characters, courtesy of Kermitage.

New Grounds - New Grounds is the largest depot I've seen of hilarious online games and movies, mostly done with Flash. You can follow some funny animated series as well as play various shooting, adventure, and puzzle games. This is another great place to waste, well, a whole lot of time.

Obey The Giant - I know you've seen "Andre the Giant has a Posse" stickers on the walls and poles of any big city you've been to recently. Bizarre, don't you think? Well, here's the story behind them. (Thanks to Maya for first pointing out the stickers to me.)

The Official Ninja Webpage - If you think ninjas are totally sweet, this is the place for you.

Pick-Up Line Archive - Every funny pick-up line you've ever heard and a whole load you haven't. I only wish I had the balls to actually use some of these. Women should be more appreciative of creative lines like, "May I push in your stool?" He even rates them by how many times he's gotten slapped.

PimpIT - This company sells some interesting pimp-related clothing, to be sure, but the main reason to visit this site is their furniture. They sell circular beds!

Porn Star Clothing - Looking for some sexy (and dirty) clothes for your girlfriend/boyfriend? Check this place out. I can't explain what these clothes do to me. Suffice it to say that I hope to marry a girl who dresses like this. See for yourself.

Random Bar Joke Generator - Bored of the same old bar jokes? This site will mix up lines of some of your favorites to come up with random (but somehow still funny) ones. "Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey Fucked a penguin!"

Sifl & Olly Cyberspace Station - This is a site for a puppet show that used to air on MTV. They have some hilarious songs that I recommend you listen to. But above all, especially check out the "Poetry Corner".

Slogan Generator - Enter your name (or any other word), and get a slogan. "I Bet He Drinks Benjamin."

Something Awful - This place keeps up a collection of amusing articles and art projects that are ridiculously funny. I'm a big fan of the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday section where people submit their doctored photos.

The Spark - All kinds of random funny things here. They seem to specialize in strange personality tests and such. Also note the downright hilarious toys section.

Spy Mall - So you wanna be a hitman? Well, you're a moron, because you've nowhere near the skill you'd need to do that for a living and not find your ass in prison. However, if you have money to burn, and you want some dangerous toys, look no further.

Stupid.com - Hours of mindless entertainment await you! This is the mother of all time wasters. (Next to making your own web page.)

Super Greg - Am I dreaming? Where do these people come from? They really ought to stop piping American T.V. into other countries. If I don't understand Puff Daddy, the Eastern Block isn't going to either. (Thanks to Danski for this one.)

Wooster Collective - I believe this is the only way to keep current on international trends in graffiti art. Some of these artists are amazing, and so damn clever, it pisses me off. On the other hand though, don't paint on city property unless you're good. If you aren't improving something, then go away.

Y2Khai - Khai is this gangsta Asian that dresses like Elvis, drives an Impala, and stalks junior high girls. Seems normal enough, I know. No, but get this: he raps!

Ze's Page - This guy is a riot. It's a bunch of VERY well done pages of bizarre and random humor. He's got some Flash movies in there, dancing instructions, stupid cat tricks... the fun never ends. This is one of my favorite sites. Ze is my hero.