The World Hath Conquered,
The Wind Hath Scattered Like Dust

The world hath conquered,
The wind hath scattered like dust
Alexander, Caesar, and all that shared sway.
Tara is grass, and behold how Troy lieth low --
And even the English,
Perchance their hour will come!

- P.H. Pearse
Published in Poems of the Irish Revolutionary Brotherhood, Small, Maynard and Company, Boston, 1916.


History

Rather than try to summarize an issue as complicated as this myself, let me refer you to some of the links below, where you can learn more than you ever wanted to know about "the troubles." What it all comes down to is that Ireland clearly has its own culture, lingual dialects, and history. It should be a completely sovereign state that rules itself in matters of legislation and economy. As it stands now, this is not the case. Britain still considers the northern part of Ireland to be a part of the United Kingdom. The actual Irish Republican Army has long been pushing for independence from Britain, although through questionable tactics. Many have died. May they go with God.


The Tenets of the IRA Clan

We're all about integrity here at IRA. There's nothing we hate more than cry-baby admins that try to make further stipulations and rules beyond the inherent rules of the game. These offenses include barring certain weapons (like sniper rifles) or certain strategies (like camping). Look, these things are in the game for a reason. Instead of crying about campers, why don't you just get better at the game and learn how to counter that strategy? The game is called COUNTER-Strike, not CHANGE-THE-RULES-TILL-IT-SUITS-MY-SKILL-LEVEL-Strike. This isn't a game of regulated, orderly dueling... it's a game about underhanded terrorists, you Jackasses. Ah, but we're getting ahead of ourselves. The point, the brass tacks, the take-home message is that we're looking for victory at all costs. We're looking for recognition.

  1. He Who Hesitates Is Lost - Again and again, we learn that in Counter-Strike, time is a luxury we do not have. In the time it takes you to decide whether or not to make a break for it, you'll often end up dead. Follow your instincts, because there is no place for over-analysis in this game. If you wait around too long, you're bound to get caught sitting there with your dick in your hand.
  2. Camp, Camp, Camp - The exception to the above rule is if you're waiting around as a strategy. Once in a while, it's time to break out the s'mores and start telling ghost stories, because it's campin' time! Some people will tell you it's cheap. Those people are wrong. Waiting and hiding until your unsuspecting enemy strolls past is a perfectly sound strategy. Anyone who claims to hate campers really just hates themselves for not being good enough to flush out their camping foes. Biotch!
  3. Your Teammates Are Your Meat-Shields - So Counter-Strike is a team game. Well, if you're a member of a shady clan like ours, you're looking to bolster your own stats. The people on your team are thus there to receive unfriendly fire whilst you get into position. Hide behind your teammates. Let them take the damage. Then, when they die at your feet after having worn down your enemy, you go steal their kill. It's just that simple. Sure, you can buy body armor, but you can't buy any armor like a teammate!
  4. Run Away! - When you hear gun shots from people better than you, then you run the fuck away! Cowardly? Yeah, anything you say, just get me out of here! Yes, away from the bullets. Besides, you didn't actually want to shoot anything, did you? It's not like you play this game to actually fight anyone, right? Better to try to live through the round.
  5. Priority #1: AFK's - AFK stands for "away from keyboard." These are players that are still in the game, but have gotten up to go to the bathroom or who knows what else. They just stand there at the spawn site. You walk over to them, and they just stand there. They don't fight back. You shoot them, and they don't fight back. Forget your team... go find the AFK's if there are any. After all, it's not as if you actually wanted a challenge, right?
  6. Tag ALL Kills - As a member of the IRA, you get the right to use our coveted custom spray-tag. Spray it in highly visible areas, and ALWAYS spray the floor around the corpse of anyone you've killed. Let everyone see the havoc you've unleashed. It's almost like peeing on your fallen enemy. Actually, fuck it... spray the floor by any dead player you see! Spray other people's kills! Let the world think you're better than you actually are. Get a reputation you didn't earn.

Member Biographies

Choose A Member
[IRA] Morrissey [IRA] O'Mooney [IRA] Cap'n Spray-n-Pray
[IRA] CASH [IRA] Hennessy [IRA] The Marksman
[IRA] Banshee [IRA] Party Bear [IRA] Pretty Pretty Princess
[IRA] Kitty Wumpus [IRA] Id [IRA] Queen Is Dead
[IRA] Tater Tot [IRA] Ash [IRA] Manatee Kills
[IRA] Lush-4-Life [IRA] Idle Wilde [IRA] Edward Deaglehands
[IRA] Lucky [IRA] Maelstrom [IRA] Apprentice
[IRA] Asskicker Of You


Name: Morrissey
Occupation: Lifeguard (Sleeping)
Weapon of Choice: Corona Golden Elites
(Dual Beretta 96G Elites)
Favorite Map(s): cs_estate, de_train
Least Favorite Map(s): de_dust, de_dust2
Personal Quote: "One man can change the world with a bullet in the right place."
Contact: Benzilla
Website: www.SmartestManEver.com


Name: O'Mooney
Occupation: Ruined Romantic
Weapon of Choice: Benelli XM1014
Favorite Map(s): cs_italy, de_aztec
Least Favorite Map(s): de_dust, de_dust2
Personal Quote: "He who hesitates probably just ends up at home spanking his pud."
Contact: LooneyOMooney
Website: www.OMooney.com


Name: Cap'n Spray-and-Pray
Occupation: The Heavy
Weapon of Choice: M134 Vulcan Minigun
(FN M249 Para)
Favorite Map(s): de_train, cs_office
Least Favorite Map(s): cs_militia
Personal Quote: "I am Jack's itchy trigger-finger."


Name: CASH
Occupation: DJ (Spinning That Hardhouse)
Weapon of Choice: Colt M4A1 Carbine
Favorite Map(s): de_dust
Least Favorite Map(s): as_oilrig
Personal Quote: "Whoa, take some Midol... Bitch."
Contact: TheTumbleweed10


Name: Hennessy
Aliases: |f00d| Pizza, Drum Dude
Occupation: Phone Jockey
Weapon of Choice: Colt M4A1 Carbine
Favorite Map(s): fy_iceworld
Least Favorite Map(s): everything else
Personal Quote: "It's all good!"


Name: The Marksman
Occupation: Prince of Broken Promises
Weapon of Choice: Cherry Wood Steyr Scout
(Steyr Scout)
Favorite Map(s): de_cbble
Least Favorite Map(s): fy_iceworld
Personal Quote: "Now THAT's marksmanship."


Name: Banshee
Occupation: Evil Bitchstress
Weapon of Choice: Desert Eagle .50AE
Favorite Map(s): cs_deaglefactory, de_vegas
Least Favorite Map(s): cs_militia
Personal Quote: "Step up and get deagle'd."


Name: Party Bear
Occupation: Amateur Pornographer
Weapon of Choice: Sig SG-552 Commando
Favorite Map(s): de_vegas, cs_italy
Least Favorite Map(s): de_dust
Personal Quote: "You're never too young to be a dirty old man."


Name: Pretty Pretty Princess
Occupation: Senseless Beauty
Weapon of Choice: Benelli XM1014
Favorite Map(s): fy_iceworld
Least Favorite Map(s): de_piranesi
Personal Quote: "I'm a pretty, pretty princess, you Mother Fucker!"


Name: Kitty Wumpus
Occupation: Casket Girl
Weapon of Choice: AI Arctic Warfare/Magnum
Favorite Map(s): de_aztec
Least Favorite Map(s): fy_iceworld
Personal Quote: "Lick my boots, Bitch."
Contact: NotAPrittyGirl
Website: NotAPrittyGirl.net


Name: Id
Occupation: Exactly What You Want, Exactly When You Want It
Weapon of Choice: Colt M4A1 Carbine
Favorite Map(s): de_train, cs_backalley
Least Favorite Map(s): as_oilrig
Personal Quote: "It's God's job to forgive you. It's mine to arrange the meeting."


Name: Queen Is Dead
Occupation: Un Luce Intelletual
Weapon of Choice: Capulet Rapier 9mm
(SIG P228)
Favorite Map(s): cs_italy
Least Favorite Map(s): fy_iceworld
Personal Quote: "With the wrong outlook on the world, one will crumble his own heart under the weight of a thousand worries."
Contact: SoulFrstrn
Website: Winter of Our Discontent


Name: Tater Tot
Occupation: The Last Great Liar
Weapon of Choice: Steyr Tactical Machine Pistol
Favorite Map(s): de_inferno
Least Favorite Map(s): de_vertigo
Personal Quote: "Excuse me young man, can you blow me where the Pampers is?"


Name: Ash
Occupation: Customer Service, S-Mart, Housewares Department
Weapon of Choice: Benelli M3 Super90
Favorite Map(s): de_train, fy_iceworld
Least Favorite Map(s): de_vertigo
Personal Quote: "Shop smart... shop S-Mart."
Contact: Rauvnos


Name: Manatee Kills
Occupation: Sea Cow
Weapon of Choice: Steyr Aug
Favorite Map(s): de_piranesi
Least Favorite Map(s): de_vegas
Personal Quote: "Mmmm... lettuce."


Name: Lush-4-Life
Occupation: Professional Alcoholic
Weapon of Choice: Benelli M3 Super90
Favorite Map(s): de_dust, de_dust2
Least Favorite Map(s): cs_militia
Personal Quote: "Oh, Betty Ford, won't you be my Valentine?"


Name: Idle Wilde
Occupation: An Ideal Husband
Weapon of Choice: Dual Beretta 96G Elites
Favorite Map(s): cs_italy
Least Favorite Map(s): fy_iceworld
Personal Quote: "A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies."


Name: Edward Deaglehands
Occupation: Super-Freak
Weapon of Choice: Desert Eagle .50AE
Favorite Map(s): cs_deaglefactory
Least Favorite Map(s): as_oilrig
Personal Quote: "Vini, vidi, deagli."


Name: Lucky
Occupation: Leprechaun
Weapon of Choice: HE Grenade
Favorite Map(s): de_prodigy
Least Favorite Map(s): cs_havana
Personal Quote: "If you want an audience, start a fight."


Name: Maelstrom
Occupation: Sucka M.C.
Weapon of Choice: Steyr Aug
Favorite Map(s): de_storm
Least Favorite Map(s): cs_747
Personal Quote: "All your hostage are belong to us."


Name: Apprentice
Occupation: Free-Lance Loafer
Weapon of Choice: Colt M4A1 Carbine
Favorite Map(s): fy_iceworld
Least Favorite Map(s): cs_havana
Personal Quote: "Subaru!!!"
Website: SuperSleepers.com


Name: Asskicker Of You
Occupation: Puthy Pancake
Weapon of Choice: Benelli XM1014
Favorite Map(s): fy_pool_day
Least Favorite Map(s): cs_deaglefactory
Personal Quote: "It's much bigger than cointh, puthy boy."


Important Links

Here are the need-to-know links concerning both the Counter-Strike game itself and the actual Irish Republican Army. Again, let me stress that we have no affiliation with the actual IRA. We are not claiming to support or deny its views or its tactics. However, as we are all for an independent Irish republic, free of British rule, we are not unsympathetic to the principle behind its operations.

  • Official Counter-Strike Web Site - This is the place to go for information about the game, to get the latest releases, find tech-support, and contact other players.
  • CS Skins - Go here to find all sorts of customizations for your game, most notably an archive of new "skins" for your weapons.
  • Sierra Games - Sierra is the company behind the award-winning game Half-Life. Counter-Strike is, at its core, a modified version of Half-Life. You'll occasionally need to stop by here for tech-support and product updates.
  • CAIN: Northern Ireland Conflict - This is an excellent site chronicling the battle for Northern Ireland since 1968 (although the conflict has been going on for much longer). There are tons of stories and images here from both sides.
  • Behind The Mask - Here is PBS' attempt at discussing the IRA and its political equivalent, Sinn Fein. This is another great site on "the Troubles."
  • Irish Internet Hub - Look here to find information on all of Ireland's political parties as well as links to their respective sites.

Music: "Boadicea - Enya"